I hate this part, the part when I realize that I have become somewhat of a codependant, paranoid mess, thinking that all of your friends dislike me because we spend too much time together. Hell, I dislike me because we try to spend too much time together when all you want to really do is sleep, but you are afraid that if you don't talk to me and do the good boyfriend stuff that I will leave you in the dust.
I'm not going anywhere, baby, but odds are that your friends are never going to like me. I suppose we should just accept that and move on. It's very rare that women like to share their men friends... Still, I think you are a much better person than I. You can deal with them being melodramatic and nutty; I, however, really do lack patience.
I cut things to the quick sometimes, and a lot of people don't like that. I've been told that I am antagonistic; I think it's just in my nature to question everything and believe nothing. Most people aren't okay with that, they want to hold onto their petty grudges and materialistic obsessions. I'm always the one saying: "You're being nuts because..." or "No, you do not need to risk bouncing a cheque to get those shoes..." Few like my voice of reason, and even fewer listen to it. Sigh. I suppose your friends might change a bit, but they're not going to because of anything I say.
Thank you. Thank you for trying so hard with me and for being wonderful, honest you. Thank you for trying to get me to see my own faults, and for trying to get me to understand other people. Sometimes I feel like I've built up a lot of cynicism over the years, and you help me break through all that. I love you.
2:03 a.m. - Sunday, May. 09, 2004
Recent entries:
Birdwatcher - Sunday, Mar. 29, 2009
- - Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007
Keep Your Pants On - Sunday, Dec. 17, 2006
It's Easier This Way - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
I Could Have Left You Forever - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
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