I always supposed I would come this far in life (the degree, honors and all), but I never really thought about what would happen after school. Thinking about "real" life frightens me, especially when I think about how few connections I have, and how worthless an English Creative Writing degree is when one has no connections. Ah well, I suppose I will have to make some effort to get published this semester. Perhaps I will aquire a copy of Writer's Market and such. Sigh. I really hate this whole growing up thing.
I'm beginning to feel that I am a rather boring person, but I think I'd rather be boring than crazy. The summer and fall were a little too crazy for my liking, and I'm enjoying my return to the bookworm reclusive version of myself. She's a bit more self-concious (but not in a bad way) and I think a bit wiser and more self-confident. Best of all, she's satisfied with the simplest of things-- good books, food, baths, candles, and comfy sheets and such. I think I'm going to reward myself with a new pillow.
For what am I rewarding myself? Not caring too much about the boy who hasn't called me in however many days. Being a designated driver on New Years'. Staying in school. Not driving past Casey's house, ever, calling him, or stopping by his store. Realizing that I have a lot of things I don't use, and gathering them for Goodwill donations.
Also, I've been putting off a visit to a certain bookstore. The owner is rather cute and such, and I have a first edition book of Walt Whitman that I wanted his opinion on. However, I just don't see the sense in my driving half way across town to ask him about it, of course because it's not the real reason I want to see him.
So yes, a new pillow. I think I'll make it feather.
7:56 p.m. - Monday, Jan. 05, 2004
Recent entries:
Birdwatcher - Sunday, Mar. 29, 2009
- - Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007
Keep Your Pants On - Sunday, Dec. 17, 2006
It's Easier This Way - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
I Could Have Left You Forever - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
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