So, it's been a long, long time since I've been to diaryland. Life is different these days.
I live alone. In my own apartment, with my own furniture (although it was donated by my dad). I have my own car (although it was donated by my mom). I pay my own bills. I am teaching high school English.
Although things have been very stressful for me because of my mental problems with anxiety, I seem to now be finally powering through all that by bitching and crying for a few weeks and then moving on. I'm getting into the swing of things. I really enjoy being in the classroom, and my kids seem to be learning, even on the days when they don't like me so much. I have purpose.
Looking back on past entries, I see now how trying to always give part of myself to a romantic relationship took a lot out of me. There were many times that I think I would have done better if I had been content to be by myself. I think part of me felt like I wasn't whole if I didn't have someone else around to love me. Now, I am finally beginning to feel like a whole person, and this person doesn't care too much if there's a man around telling her she's smart and beautiful.
I did kiss a man quite passionately the other night for a few minutes, but for once, that's all it was. Kissing. And nothing more. He seems rather shy, so now I'm afraid I may have lost my cooking partner for this weekend, which is a shame because I really need to make something for the English department potluck tomorrow and I'm not a cook. Shy boy tends to respond better to home visits than phone calls, and he lives right around the corner, so I shall have to fetch him on Sunday.
Right now I am dreaming up ideas of how to present romance and the legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table to my 15 year-old students. I have a grand idea for a lot of overhead notes, but I know they'll bore of that quickly. There are quite a few video clips I want to show, so I need to arrange those. Hmm, perhaps I can play a bit of Robin Hood, Men in Tights. I'll have to watch it at home first and see what clips I can play.
Life is a bit less dramatic now that I'm not going so insane. It's good to have some sanity for once.
8:48 p.m. - Thursday, Aug. 25, 2005
Recent entries:
Birdwatcher - Sunday, Mar. 29, 2009
- - Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007
Keep Your Pants On - Sunday, Dec. 17, 2006
It's Easier This Way - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
I Could Have Left You Forever - Monday, Oct. 30, 2006
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